WOMP WOMP: Rightwing Megachads crush crybully Left and the Lying Press

By Based Poseidon

Wednesday the 20th of June 2018


Are you tired of winning yet, anon? Rightwing Megachads are taking over the planet, we’re FUCKING UNSTOPPABLE. Anybody remember 2015 and Peak Degeneracy, when the Vaginastocracy led by withered old whore Angela Merkel used to lecture BASED Poland and Hungary on the need for open borders and tolerance? Remember when she thought she would rule the planet with Hilldawg and the Clinton Foundation, and threatened to kick the Poles and Hungarians out of Europe if they didn’t bend the knee to her crypto-Bolshevism? WOMP WOMP.

Nowadays when Trump wants to talk to the leader of Germany he gets Merkel’s Interior Minister Horst Seehofer on the phone. With BASED Bavarian voters SEETHING about the disorderly vermintide of refugee millions that Merkel flooded the country with, Seehofer is done being told what to do by the Berlin shrew. Seehofer, who is leader of the Bavarian CSU, recently forged the Rome-Vienna-Berlin Axis to keep the borders of Christian Europe secure with fellow Rightwing Megachads, Austrian Chancellor Sebastian Kurz and Italian IM Matteo Salvini. The whole continent is falling to us like dominoes now. WOMP WOMP.

From Duda and Orban holding the line in Poland and Hungary, we have now taken almost all of Central and Eastern Europe, with just this year the Rightwing Megachads winning in Italy and Slovenia. Now the Italian navy turns back the floating pleasure palaces run by degenerate roasty whores who cruise the high seas for refugee cock, and tells them to fuck off to a Vaginastocracy safe space. WOMP WOMP.

All of Europe will soon be free and Christian again lads, with the Rightwing Megachads of the Sweden Democrats dominating the polls in Sweden, and with Vaginacrat Theresa May looking shaky as fuck. It is only a matter of time before BASED Mogg steps up and joins the lads, or if he insists on being a Soft Right Simp and lackey to May instead of a BIG DIMES Rightwing Megachad, it isn’t unlikely that Farage will return and UKIP will DESTROY the Tories at the next general election. WOMP WOMP.

Even the radical centre has been pushed over to the Chad Right, with guys who used to be fence sitters realising that the Batshit Insane Left treats everyone to the right of Lenin as LITERALLY HITLER. Just look at Macron of France. All he wanted to do was sit on fence, but now he pals around with the Chad Right and wants to be /oneofus/. Oh shit, the Vaginastocracy thought they had him in the bag though. WOMP WOMP.

So now that we have taken over and there is no turning back, exactly how much cognitive dissonance is going on in the media bunkers of the Lying Press, where scummy hack “””journalists””” drink their own Kool-Aid every day. In their alternative universe they are the Resistance, and it is the people who are wrong. What the fuck are you even resisting, you retards? Representative Democracy? WOMP WOMP.

Meanwhile in Australia we have our own Rightwing Megachads, Tones and Dutto. We showed you how it was done. First you stop the boats. Then the boats stop coming. Even our resident Vaginacrats Turnbull and Shorten can’t do anything about it, because the whole nation knows that it works. Everybody just laughs whenever some faggot starts crying about detention centres. WOMP WOMP.

Full disclosure: [Based Poseidon]’s IRL name is [FEED ME]. I’m an [RAN Deathflagger] who’s keen on [sinking NGO pirate ships] and [WOMP WOMP motherfucker].


SASUGA: Anime defeats Cocaine 2 – 1, glorious RUSSIA STRONK

By Soccerball Chad

Wednesday the 20th of June 2018


Egypt OUT, Russia STRONK. Japan are going to win the World Cup, and Poland are SHIT. What else did we learn on Day Sex of the World Cup? Watch this thrilling video of the highlights OR STAY BORED, L-O-S-E-R-S.

The day began with the long anticipated World Cup final between Anime and Cocaine, and as expected Cocaine didn’t last long. Fiorentina may not want DM Moreno back from La Liga after he became the first player to get sent off this tournament, but his error soon got buried under a mountain of hilarious blunders by the Colombians, the Nips, the Poles and the Egyptians.

No mistakes by Japanese Power Ranger Shinji Kagawa though, the Borussia Dortmund Mid slotting the penalty as cooly fooly as you like. Then before the Half a plucky Colombian team had equalised with 10 Men. The free kick from River Plate midfielder Quintero went under the wall and rolled along the ground as if he was playing a game of lawn bowls.

Fooled by this complete rack of pace, Anime goalkeeper Eiji Kawashima leapt backwards comically into his net, and then pretended the ball never went in. DISHONOBRU.

This could have been the end, but cometh the hour, cometh THE MAN. And there is no man more honoured by Abe-sama and the Glorious Anime Empire of Imperial Nippon than the MC of this Season of World Cup Robot Soccer Wars – Yuya Osaka. Japan 2 – Colombia 1.

In the other and less important matches, Poland was SHIT. Their defence was SHIT. Their goalie was SHIT and confused. Where am I, what position am I playing? Why am I a midfielder now. Actually, the Polish defenders were quite good, they were just playing in the wrong positions – and in the case of Serie A defender Cionek the wrong team.

Lovely first touch by Senegalese striker Cionek to beat the Polish keeper there, lad. Oh he plays for Poland? BA HA HA HA HA.

After an abysmal first half, Senegal turned the screws on Poland on the hour, with a cheeky run by a much better Serie A player. M’Baye Niang went Kara Boga on the hapless Poles to make it two – nil. Paris Saint-Germain DM Krychowiak somewhat made amends by clawing a late goal back for Poland with a nice header from a free kick, but overall a night that he would rather forget.

Senegal now carry the hopes of Africa in this World Cup. A solid performance by them to clown the Poles 2 – 1. SASUGA, AFRICA.

What superlative best describes Russia? Is it Greatest? Are they the Bestest team? They are so far, after knocking out Egypt with stunning efficiency and a plethora of goals. Still no goals scored against them in open play either, or from set pieces.

Yeah, Premier League Golden Boot Mohamed Salah scored a consolation penalty, but those are freebies. Penalties decide matches, but they don’t really indicate quality, because at this level you are pretty much expected to put them away.

Egypt was solid in defence for the first half, but in the second half it all came unstuck rather spectacularly. First there was the deflection off the knee of the Egyptian captain that the rest of the defence and the goalkeeper just stood there and watched like idiots. Kek.

After that the Russians got their backs up, and Cheryshev and Dzyuba tore Egypt apart with smashing GOOOAAALLLS. It’s the third for Cheryshev and the second for Dzyuba for the tournament.

Russian Premier League striker Dzyuba was supposed to be carrying the hopes of the nation on his own, but so far his magnificence has been outshone by that of new Russian folk-hero Cheryshev, who leads the race for Golden Boot alongside Christiano Ronaldo as Russia race to 8 goals in 2 matches.

Villarreal can expect ridiculous offers to start rolling in for their midfield goal scoring machine, especially from patriotic Russian oligarchs who want to curry favour with the nation and its leader. Could Cheryshev be the man Chelsea need to finally replace Fat Frank Lampard? Sign him up, Roman. You heard it here first, lads.

Russia Stronk 3 – Egypt Going Home 1.

I was going to watch SmarkDown, but I need to go down to the Park and lose this Winter gut instead. I’ll leave you with this cooly fooly ED from Nisemonogatari. I left the mic work for Karen Bee III on the end, because Senjougahara is over as fuck.

Full disclosure: [Soccerball Chad]’s IRL name is [Arararagi-san]. I’m an [awful Football] who’s keen on [walks in the rain] and [if any of you fags leave the office early bring a soccer ball down, kent].




END THE ABC: Worst Lib PM ever faces Conservative Revolt

By Ghost of Black Jack

Tuesday the 19th of June 2018


Despite what you might read in the Lying Press, Turnbull is on life support and fading fast. The grassroot members HATE him now, and they are actively plotting his downfall. SEETHING not just at the turncoat Turnbull, they are going hard after anybody tainted by association with him. No more walkouts, no more surrender. They want their party back.

Why would Malcolm choose to die on a hill protecting the Bolsheviks at the ABC from their long overdue comeuppance? It seems he just can’t get enough of those feeble rounds of applause reserved for anybody who knifes the Liberal Party and its Conservative traditions in the back.

While it hardly came as a surprise to me that the grassroots members of the Liberal Party were done taking shit from a bunch of degenerate Melbourne poofters who rob TWO BILLION DOLLARS from the public purse every year to run a private propaganda network for the Labour Party, apparently this was all too radical for Malcolm and the Donor Class.

Were their wives getting disinvited from all the best Melbourne garden parties? Oh, the fucking humanity. Gib Moneyz now, Malcolm.

But seriously, does anybody even give a fuck about what the Melbourne Age said the Sydney Morning Herald said about what the Manchester Guardian and Bill Shorten thinks about what should be done with the ABC? Apparently Malcolm does.

Why not just waste all that money drained from the pay-packets of the Western Suburbs office fodder, and from the overtime of men who work the gross sweaty jobs, so that we can subsidise a cartel of lying fuckwits who routinely attack and smear Conservative politicians, run the local Jihad against the Catholic Church, and whose program of rampant degeneracy now extends to transforming every Australian schoolchild into a sex-doll pumped full of tolerance and sex-changing medication.

Even vanilla Homosexuals are beginning to blush, but not Malcolm.

Who decided that it was better to bow down to this glorious Reich of ABC Pansexual Bolshevism than fight anyway? Apparently Malcolm did, after huddling with his Donor Class and the Labour Party, who all agree that the ABC must stay. LOL WUT???

Seriously. But fucking WHY????

I have no objections to taking that TWO BILLION DOLLARS and splitting it between the states, and telling them that each of them can have their own local country TV network, as long as they all go live and work in places like Dubbo, and Gero, and Wagga Wagga.

Want to get out into the Bush and find out how some real Aussies who have NO VOICE AT ALL are doing it tough? Great. Go for it. You ought to go live in the regions for a bit too, Malcolm, you over-fancy poofter. Maybe put on some overalls and do an honest days work, you Merchant Banker prick.

Want to make a few local programs in each of the regional centres and share them around? Not a problem, as long as they are not the social engineering LOL DUDE JUST VOTE LABOUR LMFAO bullshit that the ABC routinely wastes its money on right now. Make the news, but keep it local to the regions, and keep it IMPARTIAL. Stop pushing your Melbourne Vice agenda onto the rest of the nation.

I ABSOLUTELY FUCKING OBJECT to a single red cent being spent on a Melbourne television audience of hairdressers and cross-dressers and barrow dwelling university wights lecturing me and the rest of Australia on why we ABSOLUTELY MUST win the Diversity Olympics. Just fuck right off with that mate.

We all know why Malcolm won’t raise a finger against this dirty little Melbourne cartel, and it isn’t because he loves Melbourne, which suffers more than any other place on earth from the wanton filth and profligacy that the “””National Broadcaster””” peddles.

Indeed, if the ABC ever made it out into the grimy suburbs of Real Melbourne they would find out that ordinary Melbourne voters on the cutting edge of social disintegration hate this modern Australian life of low wages, unaffordable shit-box housing, and NO FUTURE more than anyone.

This profligate waste of money to shill globalist degeneracy only gets the nod because of a tiny little Donor Class: Malcolm’s only friends. This is the same bunch of Boomer idiots that have led us to the precipice of national disaster, where we are mortgaged up to our eyeballs just as interest rates are about to take a killer spike upwards, and Malcolm and Bill are too busy agreeing on everything to do anything about it.

Dutton Coalition Government FUCKING WHEN?

I mean what do we even have to show for this mountain of debt? Tiny little dog-boxes that are unfit to raise a family in, because we have shovelled a million “””New Australians”” onto the corporate bonfire every four years for each of the past three decades to bid up housing prices so that Boomer could be a paper millionaire?

Do you even understand how much the up and coming generation hates you right now?

Most of Australia no longer even remember what a proper back-yard looks like. Does it even matter? Two years from now when interest rates are surging back towards twenty percent again the bank will own all our shitty little nu-houses anyway, and we can all sleep on the beach together.

If you earnestly believe that this Ponzi scheme of Debt and undigested mountain of New Australians that nobody asked for did anything apart from wreck the comfy Australia of universal home ownership, big yards, big happy Christian families, decent jobs and good wages, then you’re a fucking idiot.

The branches know, and they’re done with dingbat Moneylender Malcolm and the Boomer Crew.

He has used and abused his connections with the Donor Class and the Lying Press against his own party one time too many, and everybody that got thrown under the bus has finally realised that hey, THEY ARE THE PARTY.

We are on the brink of the Abyss RIGHT FUCKING NOW, and the man whose signature accomplishment has been driving off the socially Conservative blokes and the Howard battlers just to attract a round of applause from the inner city faggots who turn up in QANDA audiences has done his dash this time.

End the ABC. Turnbull Out.

Full disclosure: [Ghost of Black Jack]’s IRL name is [Frank Faulkner]. I’m an [big fan of Tones and Dutto] who’s keen on [wrecking Communist faggotry] and [respecting the Holy Mother Church].

Belgium and Kane play in Godmode, Amazon Prime instantly dropped

By Lord Harry Destroyer of Worlds

Tuesday the 19th of June 2018


Did you all watch the England match? It was terrible, but also magnificent. Arry Fakin Kane, lad. But first, the less interesting matches. Sweden beat Korea with a penalty 1 – 0, and Belgium were just way too good for Panama. Nothing worth watching until the second half of Belgium – Panama, when Napoli winger Mertens got things going with a beautiful volley into the Panama net. Then United striker Lukaku finally turned up. Belgium 3  – Panama Nil. And then finally came England and the Harry Kane show.

There are few teams in Soccerball that draw bigger DIMES than England. Whether you love them or hate them, England World Cup matches are HUGE. A lot of Australian households were up in the early hours of the morning yelling at their screens.

It was a scrappy performance by England, who got off to a great start when England Captain Sir Harold Kane poached a goal at close quarters after the Tunisian goalie failed to deal with a corner, stopping a header by Citeh defender Stones only to have Kane pounce on the ball.

After their goal England had a run of chances that they failed to convert. Raheem Sterling still doesn’t look comfortable in an England shirt, and a wasteful Jesse Lingard looked nervy. And then there was Kyle Walker.

Kyle runs like the Flash, and the amount of ground he can cover allows the English to play some great Football, but he has always been a Baka. I once watched Kyle Baka run in the wrong direction and kick a goal for United while he was still playing for Spurs.

The penalty Walker gave away was converted by Sassi, and after that the Tunisians turtled up for the rest of the match. But Harry Kane was a man who would not be denied his Football Coming Home, despite the Tunisians defenders giving him quite a bit of attention.

Just like the Argentina – Iceland match, this was a great match to watch, with a massive payoff for both the hardcore and casual England fan, when Arry Kane eventually found some space and turned a lovely header in deep in extra time. This time he made something out of a bonce ronce from the head of Maguire that was going out, masterfully smashing it with his noggin into the Tunisian net. LUVERLY.

So where do we stand with the last few matches of the first round of games about to be played? Only Russia and Belgium have shown the ability to unlock defences in open play while keeping a clean sheet, but neither has faced formidable opposition yet. Spain is attracting a lot of buzz, but their defence has already leaked three goals. Portugal is a one man team, but Christiano Ronaldo could well win this off his own boot. Croatia kept a clean sheet, and Modric looks deadly. Kane made England look far better than they were, and France got over but they didn’t look that great against Australia.

Brazil, Germany, and Argentina still have a chance to bounce back, and going into the second round of games it is hard to make a convincing case for any of the national sides. Apart from Russia and Belgium, they have all ranged from weak to mediocre, despite some stunning individual performances.

Also shit, Amazon Prime. Seriously, there are horrible subs and then there is fucking Amazon. Signed up and dropped the same day. None of the interesting titles like Girls Last Tour are even made available for Australian subscribers, but I would have stuck with them anyway if their subs weren’t so appalling.

Basically I subscribe Crunchy and AnimeLab to help the industry, but Netflix and Prime just like to ruin everything they touch. They transfer shitty Hollywood values East, completely fail to simulcast, and offer very little of worth.

At least Netflix doesn’t have these God awful ugly subtitles that are an affront to human decency. Prime only deserves to be torrented to death.

Amazon Prime a shit

Full disclosure: [Lord Harry Destroyer of Worlds]’s IRL name is [Big DIMES MacTorrents]. I’m an [poorly subbed Amazon abomination] who’s keen on [Fate movies] and [the Iceland soccer team].



Germany and Brazil both shit the bed, Teddy loses penalty shootout

By Bangs Girl-Smarkington

Monday the 18th of June 2018


OH NO NO NO NO. Day four was supposed to save us from this festival of national Soccerball mediocrity, but somehow throwing Germany and Brazil into the tournament only made things worse. The nation that once smashed out punctual 7 – 1 victories in Finals got rolled by Mexico, while the Soccerball wizards of Brazil couldn’t even beat the Swiss. SASUGA.

So far only the host nation have been rampant, but this was against the Saudis in Siberia. Ronaldo could possibly win the World Cup all by himself, but the rest of Portugal were garbage. Spain was decent in attack and terrible in defence, but before the WC they were considered almost impregnable. These were the highlights of Day 1 & 2.

On Day 3 France could have stepped up, but they were barely convincing against Australia with only a single goal from open play. Argentina had to grind out a humiliating draw against Iceland. Great match that last one though.

Then on Day 4 we finally got to watch the Germans and the Brazilians show us how to Champion. S-S-S-SUGOI.

Serbia took down Costa Rica 1 – 0 first, after a scorching free kick from Roma defender Kolarov. It was actually sugoi, and he deserves an unironic sasuga. Real Madrid Champions League winning goalie Navas was convincingly beaten by his amazing strike.

Then we got what just may be one of the worst German sides ever. The defence was very Ungermanlike, and the Mexicans treated the German midfield like a Californian border fence, running right through it to score the only goal of the match . Match winner Lozano is a winger who plays for PSV.

Germany 0 – Mexico 1. OH SHIT NIBBA HA HA HA HA HA HA. No wait, but AH HA HA HA HA HA.

What about Brazil though? They a top squad of Barcafags. Surely they beat Switzerland, right? Right??? Wrong.

The goal by Barca midfielder Coutinho was PURE KINO, and this should have been Match of the Day. Because, you know, Brazil play that easy on the eye tiki-taka football. They couldn’t defend a straightforward corner though.

Bundesliga midfielder Zuber was somehow unmarked in the box to head in the equaliser, even though he was surrounded by yellow shirts. OH NO NO NO NO NO.

The fact is, nobody has put their hand up to win this World Cup yet. Yeah I see you Russia, and you CR7. Could this be the year for England???

Meanwhile in the Westworld Cup it was Humans 1 – Robots 0, after an own goal by Teddy, who An Heroed in front of Doritos.

Did anything else happen in Worstworld this week? Fucked if I know. I turn the sound off whenever one of the female characters starts talking about their feelings, so I don’t get nagged into becoming a serial killer like Ed Harris.

Maeve went Super Saiyan, MIB confirmed Robot, Doritos to hook up with MIB again, and MIB’s daughter is bulletproof now. Not because she’s actually a Robot like her dad, she just got mad plot armour from being written stronk by two plotshitting feminists.

Woo, so nothing happened. Unless they don’t reboot Teddy. Which they can do whenever they feel like it, because dude Robots LMAO. HBOllywood confirmed fake and gay.

I know this happened yesterday, but does anybody else think Hidomi looks kind of like Ruri?


Full disclosure: [Bangs Girl-Smarkington]’s IRL name is [Hibajiddy Tsundere]. I’m an [dubbed beach episode] who’s keen on [Doritos] and [flowerpots].




Big DIMES Kiyoi wins WIXOSS, Zero Tsu dead and Messi mindbroken

By Team Layla

Sunday the 17th of June 2018


Monogatari rewatch, an insanely cool World Cup match in which Lionel Messi and the vastly overrated Argentine side get mindbroken by Iceland, Hina kino, WIXOSS Batoru overload, and the death of Zero Tsu (probably not). What’s not to like about this weekend?


First things first. Hina 11 was fun, but only moderately great when compared to some of the really outstanding episodes of the season. Punished dumb-ass Anzu > smile-protected Anzu. I really look forward to seeing how they wrap this up next week. Hopefully we get more stupid Mami-chan and Hitomi reaction faces.

Speaking of well written excellent shows, did I mention I’m watching Monogatari? I got pulled in by a binge watch of Season 2 on Crunchy on Friday night, and before I knew it I was addicted.

There are just not enough hours in the day to watch all this Kino. Tilts head back.


The big news in Sports Entertainment this weekend was that BIG DIMES Kiyoi went over on Carnival and won the strap at the Tokyo Metrobowl, despite Carnival taking her final form as a Brazilian stripper.


The final WIXOSS rankings were Tama Asspulls > Kiyoi > Carnival’s level 5 boobs > Queen Carny Layla > Suzu Carder > some Jobber > Chi-chan’s memories.

Rio was out the whole season with mommy issues, and mark-for-herself Ruu forfeited and retired from WIXOSS forever after fighting Layla and being mindbroken. Couldn’t handle the Batoru. Sad.


My only regret was I had no time for the WIXOSS thread this week. We’ll finish strong though next week lads, amirite?


GOMENASAI, Black Sabbath and the Yardbirds.

Talking about QUALITY edited video and mindbroken little girls, did you see that Messi penalty? You should really watch the whole Iceland match. Watching those guys hold out for the draw was really satisfying.

Optus was pretty good for the first two matches, but the stream was coming undone again by the time Denmark and Croatia played. Here is your soccerball goals reel.


Need a cheat sheet so you can function at a high level of autism at the water cooler at work on Monday? I got you desu.

Australia 1 – France 2 was pretty lame. The French penalty was taken by Antoine Griezmann who plays up front with Diego Costa at Atletico Madrid. The Australian back line can give themselves a pat on the back for doing a better job on Griezmann than Portugal did on Costa, at least.

Everyone at the office will probably be bitching about video referees. Tell them to get fucked. Swings and roundabouts, lad.

The Australian penalty was taken by Miles Jedinak. He’s our Captain, and he looks like Ned Kelly. He also plays for Aston Villa as a defender and we’re relying on him for goals. Yeah, we fugged. We were never likely to beat Wakanda. Just take a look at the Pogba goal with all our men back. They too classy. It’s all ogre.


Next on the GOAALLLSSSS reel, Iceland versus Argentina. Citeh Mercenary Cunt Aguero unlocks the Iceland defence first, and this could easily have become a rout. Instead the Icelanders decide to make a match of it. This is a ten star soccerball match.

The Iceland goal is amazing not because of the technical skills involved, but because that ball went in by the sheer force of will of half a dozen guys who simply refused to quit. The final and decisive boot was that of Finnbogason, who is a striker for FC Augsburg in the Bundesliga.

After that, pretty much half the planet was willing Iceland to get to Ninety Minutes plus without losing. An instant classic. Unlike the mindbroken Messi penalty which Iceland and Danish Superliga goalie Halldorsson saved. Iceland 1 – Argentina 1. OH NO NO NO NO.


Peru 0 – Denmark 1 was not great. The only goal came from an assist by Tottenham midfielder Christian Erickson, who went on a terrifying run and put Poulsen through for a one-on-one, which the Bundesliga forward slotted nicely.

I’ve seen Erickson play for Spurs a few times, who I’ve been supporting since back when we were a feeder club for United. In the modern era we have become a feeder club for Real Madrid, so while Erickson is the sort of player who might be a marquee player at a lesser feeder club, he sometimes struggles to get a game at White Hart Lane, or Wembley, or wherever the fuck our manor is now.


I saw a fair bit of Modric too, who we sold to Real Madrid along with Bale. He is quality, but neither of the two Croatia goals to defeat a scoreless Nigeria came from open play. Modric swung the corner in nicely for the first, and he also took the penalty.

None of the teams that have played so far look likely to win the World Cup, unless all the other teams are mediocre. Possibly Spain, if Ronaldo hasn’t mindbroken their defence. Or Russia as a dark horse, if Putin plays dirty.


Which brings us to Zero Tsu. She dead.

On the bright side, Trigger are releasing a Kill La Kill fighter game, which /v/ is already calling shovelware. Finna dab on em, Mako.


Full disclosure: [Team Layla]’s IRL name is [Go Piruluk]. I’m an [Pro Finna Dabber] who’s keen on [shovelware] and [edgy Dinobots].



Optus Sport World Cup Blockovision GOALS LMFAO, also Vampire porn

By Anonymous

Saturday the 16th of June 2018


So it’s Day Three of the World Cup, or if you’re watching on Australia using the Optus Sports it’s Day Three of the Lego World Cup. Don’t give a fuck about soccer? Neither do Optus, so why not watch all the goals from the first four matches in glorious Optus Blockovision with me lads?

Confused? Angry? Then why not run down Optus Chairman Paul O’Sullivan with your car if you see him crossing the street, or walk up to him and punch him in the face if you see him out and about? Why should Nazis get all the love?

So anyway, getting back to the soccerball, I think what happened in the first match was that Russia routed the Sandmonkeys, with goals by Russian Premier League midfielder Gazinsky, a brace from Villarreal CF midfielder Cheryshev bracketing a goal from RPL forward Dzyuba, and a cheeky fifth from yet another midfielder, Arsenal shit-carrier Aleksandr Golovin.

Apart from learning that Villarreal has a better talent scout than Arsenal, and that the Russian Premier League produces better players than Saudi Arabia, this 5 –  NIL thrashing taught us nothing.

The two goals from the Egypt – Uruguay and Morocco – Iran fixtures came at the death, and from set pieces. Uruguay were lucky to beat Egypt, and Morocco were unlucky that their guy scored an own goal. Neither of these matches was worth watching, even in glorious Optus Blockovision, although the second goal by Cheryshev – as described to me by friends who torrented the match instead of paying Optus for a stream – was apparently quite good.

If you live in Australia and you enjoy the Soccerball, then you probably want to grab a torrent of the Spain – Portugal match, because Christiano Ronaldo could possibly win this World Cup all by himself. He was the Golden Boy of the referee as usual, but he probably deserved it.

The match had everything, with CR ripping the once miserly defence of Spain to shreds early, before Atletico Madrid forward and former Chelsea man Diego Costa began trading goals back and forth with Ronaldo. A third goal for Spain by Real Madrid defender Nacho made up for the early penalty he gave away to his Galactico teammate, but even this too was levelled out in the 88th minute by a stunning set piece from Ronaldo.

At 3 – 3, this match was everything you would expect from a World Cup game. Which tells us there are probably too many teams in the WC, because most of the matches in group stage will be nowhere near as good as this.

Talking of things that suck but are also excellent, I spent most of the enjoyable part of my Friday watching Monogatari Season 2, which combined with Soccerball and Meatspace interactions has given me precious little time for two of my favourite three seasonals: Hinamatsuri and WIXOSS, although I managed to squeeze Comic Girls in somehow.

I regret nothing. Kaos finally made it, bros. Koyume needs to go a diet though, and is clearly going to die of a heart attack in the final episode.

Comic Girls was pleasant, but Monogatari was and still is literally better than sex.  I don’t know why Madokafags think Shaft owes them anything when it could be using that time to make more Monogatari. You can tell a lot about how good the writing on the show is by how well it works without the protagonist even appearing.

Monogatari delves deeply into the motivations of a varied cast of characters, and is both rewarding and enjoyable to watch even when the MC is completely absent for several episodes. Here is a clip from Nekomonogatari  White, pretty much at the beginning of that story arc.

Right, I have a shit-ton of Monogatari, new WIXOSS batoru and Hina, two episodes of Code Geass, a Fate movie, and an MKV of Spain – Portugal to get through before the Socceroos play North Wakanda tonight lads, so you’ll have to excuse me.

Full disclosure: [Anonymous]’s IRL name is [Anonymous]. I’m an [Soccerballologist] who’s keen on [watching Lego sports] and [vampire porn].