By A Little From Column A
Thursday the 23rd of August, 2018
Malcolm Turnbull is a Prime Minister now in name only, after deciding that he would put down the rank-and-file insurrection headed by Dutto with a shock loyalty test to the party room. This went spectacularly wrong, and saw him all but rumbled from the job in less than 48 hours. Not to flog a dead horse, but Malcolm will be out of the Parliament before the end of the year, and presumably back in his comfort zone in front of an ABC audience telling all those inner city hipster faggots how much better they are than the rest of us who form the backbone of the nation. It’s either going to be Dutto or Scott Morrison.
Malcolm is not officially gone of course, but for all intents and purposes he is fucking toast, after key supporter Matthias Cormann quietly informed him that he no longer enjoyed his key support. Dutto has swiftly gotten the five extra votes he needed from Liberal members who stuck with the Prime Minister at the first (surprise) hurdle, when Turnbull shocked the party room by calling for a vote on his leadership, only yesterday.
Right now what is happening is that Scott Morrison, who yesterday embraced Malcolm as his great leader and the only man he had any ambitions to see as PM, is now tallying up the numbers for himself. If he thinks he can get to the Lodge with all the Prime Minister’s core supporters and by picking off Dutto’s less ardent supporters, then we’ll see a contest on Friday between Morrison and Dutton.
There are only two likely scenarios at this stage. Either Peter Dutton will become the next Prime Minister or Scott Morrison will. Julie Bishop seems to be interested in the job as well, but nobody cares.
It is also entirely possible that all this could be sorted out well before lunch-time tomorrow, which is when the Liberals will meet and take their next leadership vote. If it becomes clear that one man or the other has a preponderance of support amongst the parliamentary members of the Liberal Party then the party would most probably prefer a coronation than to be permanently split into two warring camps.
It will certainly be easier for Morrison to back off at this stage than Dutton. After all it was only yesterday that Scott publicly stated that he has no leadership ambitions at all. Not that anybody believed him. So right now the future of the Liberal party will depend largely on how the Morrison camp is travelling overnight. Will these two become great rivals? Will there be rapprochement? Great drama for all the Australian political junkies.
Dutton has by some accounts already got the numbers to win a party room vote, but that was against Turnbull, and politicians as we all know are lying cagey fucks who betray each other all the time, so God only knows whether Dutton or Morrison is presently ahead.
I used to quite like Morrison, and I know he is an Assemblies of God man, but the Liberals require a sharp course correction to get back on the Right side of politics.
Tones and Dutto on the back bench and a government that keeps limping along just as it did when it was following Turnbull will not even come close to ending the grassroots Conservative revolt. We shall see how things unfold over the course of the next 24 hours. Get comfy lads. Here we go.
Full disclosure: [A Little From Column A]’s IRL name is [It’s All Gravy Now]. I’m an [Remove Communist specialist] who’s keen on [See Ya Malcolm You Fucking Poofter] and [Never Come Back].