By Now Get The Fuck Out
Saturday the 4th of August 2018
It has been both a comfy and an invigorating few days for me thanks to the release of Nostalgiahammer Fantasy Battles 4th edition RPG rulebook, which made me aware that I could also pick up the First Edition PDF for a mere ten bucks. I guess I could also torrent it, but I’m not that fucking cheap, and also I appreciated all the effort that the publishers seem to be going to in order to salvage the Classic Old World, when Games Workshop itself seems hellbent on relentless Sigmarshitting. But first, literally AWESOME seasonal weekend anime, and the new LP by illustrious rapping-man Jacques Webtser the Second.
Who is this Webster fellow you might well ask, and how did he get me to stop listening to Handel? Well Webster is a rapping-man who goes by the stage name of Travis Scott, and he has been relatively famous ever since Hollywood music pig TI discovered him on his couch. Presumably beneath Iggy Azalea.
Yes, but how the fuck did he get MY attention? By spamming the living shit out of /mu/, of course. I pass through from time to time, and I just happened to be passing through just as TI’s intern spammed fifty simultaneous threads. But why viral market to Right-wing Otakus? Didn’t anybody ever tell TI’s intern what a pack of cunts we are?
Eh, I guess it worked for Monster and God of War. Suck it, LITERALLY NO DIMES Reddit fags. We the youth opinion leaders now. But I digress. I gave Astroworld one third of my attention while I watched Chio and read rules for a game that I will probably never play. I’m quite a busy guy, you know.
The first thing Travis Scott wants you to know is that he is definitely lit. As is his producer Mike Dean, who is so lit that he kind of overwhelms the talent. The first three songs are probably the three that Mike told TI were the strongest, and two of them kind of are. Sicko Mode you’ll just have to take my word for, or buy or torrent or stream it.
Mike will probably be going to jail soon for murdering Frank Ocean, so the less said about that the better. But his eclectic use of Fruity Loops and Autotune made Stargazer quite interesting, actually.
Almost anybody could have been the rapping-man on Stargazer though. Here is Travis working with Chio, for example. All the genius for this particular track is in the sounds which Mike made.
Dean not only buries Scott in an avalanche of noise, he does the same to almost everyone. The next two songs after Sicko Mode are overproduced garbage. I guess Stevie Wonder is too nice to say anything, or maybe he is deaf now as well.
After the first five songs I felt like I was drowning in Autotune and Fruity Loops, so I was pleasantly surprised to enjoy No Bystanders, which kind of sounds like every TI song I ever heard and made me wonder when the next Fast and Furious is coming out. Rap tropes are fun though.
Skeletons was a solid effort by Pharrell, who is a far more competent music producer than Dean, and probably sat in the booth until it met his standards. The Weeknd song without Pharrell got DEANED, and the middle of album is just fucking awful.
Fortunately we eventually get to hear from Scott, who manages to Undean himself on a track with Nav and Gunna. Indian Hiphop Worldwide boi.
Pajeet rappers are cerebral as fuck and always bring FIRE, even when massively stoned. Don’t ask me how I know. I went to college. Yosemite is the second best track on the album.
The tracks between Yosemite and Coffee Bean aren’t bad, but four of them in row sound pretty much the same. Coffee Bean is the only track that I felt like Travis Scott had something unique to say and wasn’t just a backup dancer on his own album. I enjoyed it. But not as much as the debut song from FIRE DUO Mananachio. Let’s Floss.
Warhammer got Litty as well, but I already wasted too much time today and I want to watch Happy Sugar Life now. Enjoy these images I prepared earlier, Oldhammerfags.
Full disclosure: [Now Get The Fuck Out]’s IRL name is [Jacques Berman Webster II]. I’m an [Gimme the LOOT specialist] who’s keen on [Autotune] and [roll dice nigger].