By Kathleen Kennedy McMahon hates the Blacks
Tuesday the 24th of July 2018
OH SHIT they screwed Bobbo out of his SummerSlam title shot against Bork, frens. I am so fucking WORKED right now, Holy Christ. It wouldn’t have bugged me quite so much if that lazy sack of shit Roman Reigns or whatever his no-dimes name is hadn’t laid there for A FULL THREE COUNT before kicking out. But first, what I enjoyed about RAM this week.
Apart from getting worked, that is. Damn it feels kind of nice to be a mark again. Proves I’m not completely dead inside. It’s a good thing.
I was pretty determined that RAM would be shit like it usually is, and when Kathleen Kennedy McMahon and her wife HHH wheeled out the stripper’s division and pretended they didn’t just pass the women’s title around to whichever fap princess had the most thirsty virgins liking her Instagram shit I was pretty much over it.
Vince standing there with cold dead eyes while Steph drove a suicide truck of boredom into his ratings. I feel for you buddy. Then life got a little better again, when the KO versus Braun rematch was booked for SS. Please be a Hell in a Cell. Shane Mac needs to get involved again too. One more time, bro. You can do it.
WWE always overpromises though. And for the longest time they have been under delivering. Then while I was basically just using RAM as background noise while I did real world shit, something great happened that grabbed my attention back.
Seff turned up, and he decided to be the man again.
Seff had a pretty disappointing Extreme Rules with Ziggler. It turns out that Thirty Minutes of Seff is way too much. He got back into his zone tonight though against Ziggler and his boyfriend, and almost stole this episode of RAM right out from underneath Bobbo. Sasuga, based heathen.
Almost, but no cigar. For a start, how are you going to compete with Elias? The man is a God damned prodigy and an American national treasure. Should I buy his album bros?
But even Elias withers and fades into obscurity when the blazing sun of human warmth and sportsmanlike behaviour that is BASED Bobbo appears. Even his promo was FIRE, as he anticipated the biggest match since Big Match John used to wrestle.
Bobbo is the man on RAM these days. Big Match Bobbo.
Needless to say, I was fucking hype. I had my popcorn ready, and my credit card to buy all that Bobbo merch as soon as I knew that Vince was finally ready to have a legit contender take on Bork and get the universal title back from the UFC.
And then poor Bobbo got fucking lynched. Suddenly the hangdog face of Vince made even more sense than it did before. Why Kathleen Kennedy McMahon, WHY? Why do you hate the Blacks so much. NOOOOOOOOOOO.
In the end Bobbo was man denied his trip to Brooklyn, but he will live forever in our hearts as good fren. Truly a Godly man who was too good for this world.
He had his title shot stolen by the bigots at the WWE, who still fail to understand that Bobbo transcends race or politics. Nonetheless, we will never forget that he got the three-count, and could have saved Vince’s company from the outrageous antics of notorious Klansman Kathleen Kennedy McMahon and her Nazi man-wife, Heil Hitler Helmsley.
After all that I was way behind on all my regular dayshit, RAM starting at 8AM on a Tuesday morning as it does, and I probably should have done some work or something.
Instead I caught up on Hanebado! Time well invested. Liden have been listening to its fans – unlike the WWE, and Yu-chan’s show was really comfy. A solid 8/10 – will keep watching.
What? That’s a High Distinction at my university. Here is the ED to wash your sorrows away, Bobbo frens.
OK now I’ve pissed half the day away I really need to go and get my shit together. DAMN YOU WWEEEEE.
Full disclosure: [Kathleen Kennedy McMahon hates the Blacks]’s IRL name is [Bobbo is good fren]. I’m an [/asp/ specialist] who’s keen on [where the fuck is the convenience store] and [Yu-chan is Best Girl].