By Fuck the GCHQ
Monday the 2nd of July 2018
OH SHIT is it July already? I’d better go walk around in the rain. But first, NEW SEASONAL anime. This had better be good, because I’d usually be watching Westworld, and Lisa Joy is one of my favourite writers. BA HA HA HA HA HAAA.
First out of the blocks for Summer (where you are, probably) was Island. I would’t usually fuck with this genre, but I made an exception for Island. For one thing, the last seasonal that Feel put out was Hinamatsuri. And for another, I recently installed Doki Doki Literature Club on Steam, after the Lying Press in England decided to blame the death of some young kid on his Otaku Love simulator, so it’s kind of topical.
Doki Doki is a free install by the way. I got about 26 minutes in and I’m still not feeling suicidal. I don’t think I could endure 26 minutes living in Saracen Paradise being monitored by the shitheads at GCHQ 24/7 with no future and no freedom though. But I digress. Free Tommy.
Here is your clip, Islanders.
Island was pretty OK. Actually it was pretty shit until Assassin Loli attacked generic time-travelling MC for some reason, but after that I got with the program. I stopped holding it to the plotshitting standards of Westworld, and just enjoyed it for what it was, a Vampire Loli version of American Idol. Neat.
Next up, Badminton. I guess I have played baddy once or twice, but mostly I have just watched generic Asians play it on the basketball courts at my university.
Literally every generic Asian I have ever talked to – and I have chatted with well in excess of fifty of them (I think, they all look the same) just this year alone, all FUCKING LOVE BADMINTON. Imagine my shock when I watched Hanebad! and none of the protagonists looked even remotely generically Asian. PRIME.
Why did Trigger decide to save badminton? Who cares?
Actually it’s a Liden seasonal, but Trigger and Liden are both part of USP, and I’m really digging the Studio Wars, so I’m calling it for Trigger. Also you can clearly see Trigger in the ED. And everything Trigger is attached to is shitposting gold.
Will the Trigger MILK TRUCKS of Orympic Badminton prevail over the the gay swimmers of Kyoto Animation this season? They fucking well better.
Here is your clip, Baddyfags.
Hanebad! was quite enjoyable. There is plenty there for both hetfags and yurifags, and whoever wrote it is much better suited to writing than Lisa Joy. The best Ship didn’t get much airtime though. Topknot and Squinty Eyes are easily the best girls.
I already hate the brat who is effortlessly good at sports, and the MC who TRIES SO HARD AND GOT SO FAR is also kind of an annoying dick. Why doesn’t she just quit and lez out with Glasses?
Also embarrassing themselves, this Antifa faggot. He tries to hit somebody who isn’t looking with a rod of some sort, gets stopped, lashes out, and then gets knocked the FUCK OUT.
Top Fucking Karma right there lad.
Well I guess I had better go do something constructive, but I’ll leave you with this montage of Best Girls from the new seasonals.
Full disclosure: [Fuck the GCHQ]’s IRL name is [DOKI DOKI]. I’m an [marooned Loli] who’s keen on [BADMINTON] and [A HA HA fucking Antifa queers].