Big DIMES Kiyoi wins WIXOSS, Zero Tsu dead and Messi mindbroken

By Team Layla

Sunday the 17th of June 2018


Monogatari rewatch, an insanely cool World Cup match in which Lionel Messi and the vastly overrated Argentine side get mindbroken by Iceland, Hina kino, WIXOSS Batoru overload, and the death of Zero Tsu (probably not). What’s not to like about this weekend?


First things first. Hina 11 was fun, but only moderately great when compared to some of the really outstanding episodes of the season. Punished dumb-ass Anzu > smile-protected Anzu. I really look forward to seeing how they wrap this up next week. Hopefully we get more stupid Mami-chan and Hitomi reaction faces.

Speaking of well written excellent shows, did I mention I’m watching Monogatari? I got pulled in by a binge watch of Season 2 on Crunchy on Friday night, and before I knew it I was addicted.

There are just not enough hours in the day to watch all this Kino. Tilts head back.


The big news in Sports Entertainment this weekend was that BIG DIMES Kiyoi went over on Carnival and won the strap at the Tokyo Metrobowl, despite Carnival taking her final form as a Brazilian stripper.


The final WIXOSS rankings were Tama Asspulls > Kiyoi > Carnival’s level 5 boobs > Queen Carny Layla > Suzu Carder > some Jobber > Chi-chan’s memories.

Rio was out the whole season with mommy issues, and mark-for-herself Ruu forfeited and retired from WIXOSS forever after fighting Layla and being mindbroken. Couldn’t handle the Batoru. Sad.


My only regret was I had no time for the WIXOSS thread this week. We’ll finish strong though next week lads, amirite?


GOMENASAI, Black Sabbath and the Yardbirds.

Talking about QUALITY edited video and mindbroken little girls, did you see that Messi penalty? You should really watch the whole Iceland match. Watching those guys hold out for the draw was really satisfying.

Optus was pretty good for the first two matches, but the stream was coming undone again by the time Denmark and Croatia played. Here is your soccerball goals reel.


Need a cheat sheet so you can function at a high level of autism at the water cooler at work on Monday? I got you desu.

Australia 1 – France 2 was pretty lame. The French penalty was taken by Antoine Griezmann who plays up front with Diego Costa at Atletico Madrid. The Australian back line can give themselves a pat on the back for doing a better job on Griezmann than Portugal did on Costa, at least.

Everyone at the office will probably be bitching about video referees. Tell them to get fucked. Swings and roundabouts, lad.

The Australian penalty was taken by Miles Jedinak. He’s our Captain, and he looks like Ned Kelly. He also plays for Aston Villa as a defender and we’re relying on him for goals. Yeah, we fugged. We were never likely to beat Wakanda. Just take a look at the Pogba goal with all our men back. They too classy. It’s all ogre.


Next on the GOAALLLSSSS reel, Iceland versus Argentina. Citeh Mercenary Cunt Aguero unlocks the Iceland defence first, and this could easily have become a rout. Instead the Icelanders decide to make a match of it. This is a ten star soccerball match.

The Iceland goal is amazing not because of the technical skills involved, but because that ball went in by the sheer force of will of half a dozen guys who simply refused to quit. The final and decisive boot was that of Finnbogason, who is a striker for FC Augsburg in the Bundesliga.

After that, pretty much half the planet was willing Iceland to get to Ninety Minutes plus without losing. An instant classic. Unlike the mindbroken Messi penalty which Iceland and Danish Superliga goalie Halldorsson saved. Iceland 1 – Argentina 1. OH NO NO NO NO.


Peru 0 – Denmark 1 was not great. The only goal came from an assist by Tottenham midfielder Christian Erickson, who went on a terrifying run and put Poulsen through for a one-on-one, which the Bundesliga forward slotted nicely.

I’ve seen Erickson play for Spurs a few times, who I’ve been supporting since back when we were a feeder club for United. In the modern era we have become a feeder club for Real Madrid, so while Erickson is the sort of player who might be a marquee player at a lesser feeder club, he sometimes struggles to get a game at White Hart Lane, or Wembley, or wherever the fuck our manor is now.


I saw a fair bit of Modric too, who we sold to Real Madrid along with Bale. He is quality, but neither of the two Croatia goals to defeat a scoreless Nigeria came from open play. Modric swung the corner in nicely for the first, and he also took the penalty.

None of the teams that have played so far look likely to win the World Cup, unless all the other teams are mediocre. Possibly Spain, if Ronaldo hasn’t mindbroken their defence. Or Russia as a dark horse, if Putin plays dirty.


Which brings us to Zero Tsu. She dead.

On the bright side, Trigger are releasing a Kill La Kill fighter game, which /v/ is already calling shovelware. Finna dab on em, Mako.


Full disclosure: [Team Layla]’s IRL name is [Go Piruluk]. I’m an [Pro Finna Dabber] who’s keen on [shovelware] and [edgy Dinobots].



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