Optus Sport World Cup Blockovision GOALS LMFAO, also Vampire porn

By Anonymous

Saturday the 16th of June 2018

 

So it’s Day Three of the World Cup, or if you’re watching on Australia using the Optus Sports it’s Day Three of the Lego World Cup. Don’t give a fuck about soccer? Neither do Optus, so why not watch all the goals from the first four matches in glorious Optus Blockovision with me lads?

Confused? Angry? Then why not run down Optus Chairman Paul O’Sullivan with your car if you see him crossing the street, or walk up to him and punch him in the face if you see him out and about? Why should Nazis get all the love?

So anyway, getting back to the soccerball, I think what happened in the first match was that Russia routed the Sandmonkeys, with goals by Russian Premier League midfielder Gazinsky, a brace from Villarreal CF midfielder Cheryshev bracketing a goal from RPL forward Dzyuba, and a cheeky fifth from yet another midfielder, Arsenal shit-carrier Aleksandr Golovin.

Apart from learning that Villarreal has a better talent scout than Arsenal, and that the Russian Premier League produces better players than Saudi Arabia, this 5 –  NIL thrashing taught us nothing.

The two goals from the Egypt – Uruguay and Morocco – Iran fixtures came at the death, and from set pieces. Uruguay were lucky to beat Egypt, and Morocco were unlucky that their guy scored an own goal. Neither of these matches was worth watching, even in glorious Optus Blockovision, although the second goal by Cheryshev – as described to me by friends who torrented the match instead of paying Optus for a stream – was apparently quite good.

If you live in Australia and you enjoy the Soccerball, then you probably want to grab a torrent of the Spain – Portugal match, because Christiano Ronaldo could possibly win this World Cup all by himself. He was the Golden Boy of the referee as usual, but he probably deserved it.

The match had everything, with CR ripping the once miserly defence of Spain to shreds early, before Atletico Madrid forward and former Chelsea man Diego Costa began trading goals back and forth with Ronaldo. A third goal for Spain by Real Madrid defender Nacho made up for the early penalty he gave away to his Galactico teammate, but even this too was levelled out in the 88th minute by a stunning set piece from Ronaldo.

At 3 – 3, this match was everything you would expect from a World Cup game. Which tells us there are probably too many teams in the WC, because most of the matches in group stage will be nowhere near as good as this.

Talking of things that suck but are also excellent, I spent most of the enjoyable part of my Friday watching Monogatari Season 2, which combined with Soccerball and Meatspace interactions has given me precious little time for two of my favourite three seasonals: Hinamatsuri and WIXOSS, although I managed to squeeze Comic Girls in somehow.

I regret nothing. Kaos finally made it, bros. Koyume needs to go a diet though, and is clearly going to die of a heart attack in the final episode.

Comic Girls was pleasant, but Monogatari was and still is literally better than sex.  I don’t know why Madokafags think Shaft owes them anything when it could be using that time to make more Monogatari. You can tell a lot about how good the writing on the show is by how well it works without the protagonist even appearing.

Monogatari delves deeply into the motivations of a varied cast of characters, and is both rewarding and enjoyable to watch even when the MC is completely absent for several episodes. Here is a clip from Nekomonogatari  White, pretty much at the beginning of that story arc.

Right, I have a shit-ton of Monogatari, new WIXOSS batoru and Hina, two episodes of Code Geass, a Fate movie, and an MKV of Spain – Portugal to get through before the Socceroos play North Wakanda tonight lads, so you’ll have to excuse me.

Full disclosure: [Anonymous]’s IRL name is [Anonymous]. I’m an [Soccerballologist] who’s keen on [watching Lego sports] and [vampire porn].

 

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