Harry Kanaldo beats Super Eagles, Real Madrid up transfer bid to £500 BILLION

By John Miller

Sunday the 3rd of June 2018

 

World Cup fever has finally reached Australia, and it arrived at the same time as the Flu, so I watched Arry Kane and some mug from Chelsea demolish the Arsenal guy’s team rugged up lads. Also I drank too much, and fell asleep at Half Time, so I missed the Iwobi goal. Here is your line-up and all the GOOOOOOOAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLSSSSSSSSSS, filthy soccer casuals.

The Super Eagles of Nigeria had some loud support at Wembley, but luckily for the England Gary Cahill was there to shut down the hype early with a lovely header from the corner. Get it in son.

The rest of the first half of the match looked to be the Raheem Sterling show, as the incredibly smug Citeh Mercenary sent soccer balls flying everywhere except into the net.

After about twenty attempts on goal, Raheem managed the lure the Nigerian defenders into a false sense of security, and then passed the ball to England Captain and Spurs legend Harry Kane.

OH SHIT LAD, it’s ARRY FOOKEN KANE. Time for a GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.

I’m not sure what happened next because I fell asleep on the sofa during Half Time, but soon my phone was blowing up. Just some cheeky cunt I used to go to Uni with who is naturally a mad Super Eagles supporter as he is a legit Nigerian Prince.

The score was 2 – 1. Sorry Africa, that cheeky goal was all Gareth’s men would allow. Here is Iwobi doing it all and then trying to start a fight with the Everton goalie.

I rate this soccerball match seven Raheem Sterlings. I still don’t know if that is any good yet.

Also happening this weekend, Hinamatsuri, and I rate the Mao episode seven Harry Kanes, so you know it was quality. Here is your clip, faggots. GOHAN.

Are you losing track of Hina’s squad? Here is an image I prepared earlier, plus two random caps of Mao and Hina. Not pictured, Anzu. Looks like they’re writing Best Girl out of the show. Suck it up, Anzufags.

WIXOSS was infuriating. No BATORU. The thread was/is pretty good though desu, with Suzufags and Ruufags both displaying enjoyably high levels of autism.

Full disclosure: John Miller’s IRL name is Frank Faulkner. I’m an Aussie who’s keen on Conservative politics, Trump, and the Anime Right. Rio will win.

 

 

 

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