SSSS Gridman v Free! How many Kyoani execs will sudoku in 2018?

By John Miller

Thursday the 3rd of May 2018

 

The short and brutal war between the studio blockbusters VEG and Franxx was a lop-sided affair. Kyoani dieded. Franxx is a cultural phenomenon, and Trigger got so white-hot that the entire history of anime is currently being revised.

A Kill La Kill Nostalgia Renaissance is currently triggering the ever-loving fuck out of the completely demoralised Kyoanifags. Luluco is getting over on Haruhi. The entire Trigger catalogue is getting a Franxx bump. The curtains are coming down on the studio that used to churn out icons like Lucky Star.

Things didn’t have to be this way for Kyoto Animation. It’s not like they don’t make quality animation. But man, they really seem to hate success. What have they done lately except scoff at their old fans?

 

At some point during 2018 the golden run of Franxx will come to an end. Trigger already has its next mecha blockbuster teed up and ready to roll. Are you HYPO FO DA SUPERHUMAN SAMURAI SYBER SQUAD YET???

And what will SSSS CHADman be up against from Kyoani? Season 2 of Dragon Maid? Lol nope. Try an SOL about an all-boys swimming team, fags!

I was glad to find out while Googling Kyoto Animation today that they released a Chunibyo movie this year, but sad that Kyoani has fallen off so much that nobody cared. It still hasn’t gotten onto either of the two platforms that I pay to watch anime on.

I would usually not go out of my way to find a DVD for a movie with no heat around the project. I’ll find this and watch it though, and not just because Chunibiyo was better than kino, but precisely because Kyoani don’t do cash-grabs.

With Kyoto Animation you can always expect to be either:

  1. Pleasantly surprised, and/or
  2. Completely fucking baffled as to why something was made at all.

The million-dollar question: Why is there a Sound! movie coming out while K-On fandom continues to be ignored? Just teasing a new K-On film for 2019 or 2020 would whip up enough hysteria to give the Sound! release some heat.

Why not throw these fags a bone, Kyoto Animation? These are your fans.

The truth is that Kyoto Animation is a hipster studio that hates money and doesn’t care if senpai notices them, because they would rather win awards or something. Ha, fuck your success, Trigger. We have our artistic integrity.

Actually, no. VEG should have been spun off into its own production company. This is not what you do. Your fans are angry and confused.

Most of the catalogue between Chunibiyo in 2014 and Dragon Maid last Spring has either languished or leaned heavily on the laurels of the distant past. Which begs the question? Why do you hate money? Dragon Maid is at least 26 episodes. At least.

In a way it is unfair to complain. I prefer Nichijou to K-On, but I like both, and a lesser studio just would have ridden K-On into the ground without ever making Haruhi or Nichijou, and wrecked K-On to boot by grinding it out endlessly until nobody cared.

Constantly reinventing yourself is a hit and miss process. I get that they have to turtle up a little when they miss. I respect that. The problem with being completely immune to criticism though is that one day you might end up so deluded that you become incapable of self-criticism. You might even become a laughing stock not because you are terrible, but because you are no longer at the top of your game but still act like you are.

The truth is that Kyoto Animation is a studio with a monster pedigree, but it’s not 2011 anymore. You can’t afford to take a gap year away from being popular and give us something that we will eventually love.

Kyoanifags could defend VEG because it looked beautiful. The problem is what comes next. Unless I’m grossly misinformed about the popularity of boys swimming, this is going to be a harrowing year for Kyoto Animation. But why?

Yes Darlingshit owned Winter 2018, but Yuru Camp still went over massively, and Sora Yori was holy dimes. This is Kyoani territory. They were always the God-tier SOL feels merchants, so why so edgy on Netflix?

The Non Non Biyori reunion Summer movie is catching fire right now, and the announcement of six Pri Pri films for 2019 is hype. Kyoto Animation should have run its own lane, but instead 2018 will be remembered as the year they got BTFO outside their comfort zone and Trigger became the Guy that took all the straps.

If Kyoto Animation wants to not be an also-ran again in 2019, then they need to spend a couple of days online and find out how bad their fans are getting beaten up on the boards because they’ve got nothing to defend and nothing to look forward to.

SSSS Gridman versus Free! is going to be a bloodbath for the Kyoanifags. Trigger smarks run anime now.

Full disclosure: John Miller’s IRL name is Frank Faulkner. I’m an Aussie who’s keen on Conservative politics, Trump, and the Anime Right. Pew pew MECHAAAAAA.

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