By John Miller
Tuesday the 23rd of January 2017
Crime Lord Andrew Daniels and his merry band of what the legacy media continue to describe euphemistically as local teenagers continued to tear the fabric of the city apart today, with a series of brazen crimes that put at least two women in the hospital – and one lost several teeth and has a very painful year in the dental chair ahead of her.
Does Andrew Daniels even give a stuff? Not bloody likely – all this delicious new ethnic food makes his crime wave totally worth it.
Not long after caving in the face of some of some old geezer and his grandson while they were returning from a day at the tennis, these gangs of hoodlums – which it should be pointed out our Federal government imports, houses and feeds at great expense to the taxpayer – has moved on to their next soft target: women.
Today we had women getting snatched out of their cars in the street, and a crime spree that resulted in a horrific car crash. At least one of the women was severely injured.
Carjackings in broad daylight is a new low for Melbourne – even by the incredibly low standards of the Daniels Crime Cartel. Never mind – we South Africa now. I guess this means Melbourne is going to run out of water next year.
Don’t worry, if you pick the wrong time of day to go down to the Servo you’ll probably get killed before then anyway.
Of course, being Melbourne, everyone is just glad that the little minxes are alright, and the wine swilling cock fanciers that work in Fake News will make sure that the story is memory holed before everyone gets up tomorrow.
Local magistrates are stepping up their game as we speak to make sure that the offenders are back out on the street in time for their nightly kerb crawl.
Full disclosure: John Miller’s IRL name is Frank Faulkner. I’m an Aussie and when I’m not obsessing about Conservative politics or defending Trump I also enjoy various sports and Christian activities. Somehow I ended up in the Anime Right in 2016 because of Trump, and I trade Crypto because I want a Lambo.