By John Miller
Sunday the 17th of December, 2017
The world as you know it will start to end on March next year, Christian man.
Sick of our Conservative ways and prejudices and care-free lifestyles, the New World Order in conjunction with the Satanic Brethren of Davos has decided to get rid of Perth once and for all – and transform our peaceful little Burg us into a Sodom-and-Gomorrah style Metropolis of abomination.
Are you ready to get everything that’s part & parcel of London funnelled here direct? Well suck it up princess – we Melbourne now.
Did somebody say Melbourne?
I’m freaking psyched for an urban death maze where you can’t take your missus to the beach without getting enriched by four-score and twenty Somalian youth smashing the windows of McDonalds for ISIS.
YUSSS, globalism. Now get ready for some progress, faggots.
Thanks to our superior geographical location, Perth is the shortest and fastest path to full-blown London degeneracy, and from March 2018 we will officially be the Perf-Landan Hub, and part of the worldwide nexus of swift non-stop diversity deliverance by air.
Are you ready for this, rural and suburban retards?
Heh, look at you living in your McMansions with your families n sheeit. Don’t you know that Polar Bears are literally starving in Current Year, you Christ worshipping scum?
Time to dump the famalam and move into that Spartan inner city flat – and don’t forget to fill the spare rooms with a hairdresser and with somebody who works in a call centre, to max out your Millennial Adventure points, lads.
And the money you save on mortgage repayments can go on avocado toast and flights to Europe! Dat Soyboy lyfe.
Wew lad, think of all the likes I’ll get on the Facestagram from all those jelly faggots back home in their inner city flats – woooo Millennial living is DOPE amirite – toast me up senpai.
But srsly, Qantas wants us to be the bran nu official Oztralia-Europe Hub, with non-stop flights from Perth to London via the spanky new Boeing 787-9 “””Dreamliner””” they replacing the Airbus with.
BTFO forever: All the shitty places in the Arabian Gulf where I used to buy a non-offensive sandwich and avoid talking about religion whenever I used to visit Blighty.
Ha, Emirates and Squiggle Air. You faggots thought we actually wanted to see your countries?
Honestly, who thought building skyscrapers in the bloody desert was a good idea then? Hey Infidel, come see our sand, and possibly get beheaded. Sounds great eh, I’ll go buy me some death insurance then.
From now on – just fly right over all the countries that can expect to go bankrupt in the next twenty years, and make the 15 thousand-kilometre (das roughly 10K miles for Burgers) trek from Perth to London direct. God Bless America.
Company CEO, flaming homosexual, and alternative lifestyle advocate Alan Joyce announced all this recently on behalf of Qantas, the private company which he has transformed into his personal blog about gay rights.
Le epic voyage will take just 17 hours from Perth, with NO BREAKS. The absolute madman. No word yet on how BASED Tony ‘eat-my-pie-you-faggot’ Overhue feels about all this.
Anyhow, expect to see even more bewildered faggots wandering around Elizabeth Quay next year, and even larger packs of slack jawed Soyboys working the gay beat in Northbridge.
It won’t just be drunk Irish backpackers and gap year Eurotrash roaming the streets late at night any more either. They’ll ALL be here from the Eastern states on a stopover, or going there from Europe.
We Gateway to Europe tier now, boys. Snipers on the Bell Tower when?
So expect Euroboomers to start invading our Heaven tier beaches en masse, before wandering off into the Bush to get devoured by Crocodiles and Drop Bears.
“A direct flight makes travelling to Australia a much more attractive proposition to millions of people,” flounced Joyce at his press junket, while thinking of dildos and the desecration of Churches.
Fugg, MILLIONS of these bloody degenerates will be here soon. Time to open that microbrewery and start serving avocado and kangaroo burgers up to pasty continentals, I guess.
Worse: “Our modelling shows that people from the East Coast as well as South Australia would fly domestically to Perth to connect to our non-stop London service.”
Jesus wept, not South Australians too. I fkn hate those faggots.
They’re like the Jehovah’s witnesses, except they ride around on bicycles and ask if you have time to talk about Adelaide. I’ve been there. It should be a two-minute conversation, but somehow it always turns into a power point presentation on how it can be empirically proven by Science that Adelaide isn’t boring n sheeit (protip: it is).
Well, at least the local cops don’t take any shit from diversity people in Hitlertown, I guess.
Seats for the first Perth-London flights are already on sale, so if you’re a trust fund faggot or just booking your UK or European holiday for March, there you go. Each Boeing 787-9 “””Dreamliner””” will carry 236 passengers across Business, Premium Economy and Economy cabins.
Who here deep vein thrombosis?
For the less adventurous, the Boeing 787-9 has already done a tour of the Sydney, Melbourne and Perth triangle, but that ended on last Thursday, so bad luck workfags.
Those 787s are now ferrying deviants direct from Melbourne to LA, if anybody wants to go check out the fires or whatever.
Melbourne will be the East Coast hub for non-stop to Murica going forwards, so in your face Sydney I guess, with your choice of either LA – for allegedly straight guys who just bummed a bit and like soy milk and speak Spanish, or San Francisco for the full blown deviant – because Qantas is Alan Joyce’s personal airline and fcuk shareholders.
Melbourne to Perth on a Boeing 787-9 departed local 7.10am, and arrived 8.20am, so in theory I could live in Melbourne now and commute to work every day by plane, if I had no concept of the value of money, and wanted to live in a city full of degenerate poofters.
It could be the go during AFL season though. The trial set of flights from Perth to Melbourne departed local 9.55am and arrived at 4.30pm. Not bad for a night game, I guess.
Frequent flyer reward seats were available in the local test legs, but no word from Qantas about frequent flyer availability on the Perf-Landan route that I’m aware of lads.
It was 16,000 Qantas Points for Sydney-Melbourne business class and 36,000 QPs for the Melbourne-Perth and Perth-Sydney legs. Qantas were selling only business class and economy class on the domestic legs.
Platinum One and Chairman’s Lounge frequent flyers got to choose a seat in the Dreamliner’s premium economy cabin – sorry plebs – while other travellers got to select seats in the economy class cabin. Qantas allocated premium economy seats that remained empty on the day of the flight based on frequent flyer status.
Two pic-related are premium economy & business. Third pic-related is just a marketing mock-up.
The Boeing 787-9 has a much bigger business class cabin – 42 seats compared to 28 – compared to the old Airbus A330. So there’s a much better chance of scoring a bump from economy class, either using your QPs, or just because you’re good at flirting with cabin crew.
Jej get out of my way fags, I’m like candy to air hostesses.
Full disclosure: John Miller’s IRL name is Frank Faulkner. I’m an Aussie and when I’m not obsessing about Conservative politics or defending Trump I also enjoy various sports and Christian activities.