By John Miller
Sunday the 26th of November, 2017
Battlefront II? I thought they were up to IV by now, but I guess I wasn’t paying attention. I didn’t want to pay to play either, so I skipped the release. Do you find my lack of faith disturbing?
Imagine my shock when it turns out EA decided to burn its fanbase with monetised loot crates that ridiculously disadvantaged the regular gamer, who then rebelled against EA and Disney. Wow, I guess everybody was sick of their BS. And with the US regulators increasingly viewing microtransactions as gambling for children, Disney immediately capitulated – for now.
That’s right kids, just like Darth Vader spiralling away from the original (?) future Death Star in the original Star Wars in his damaged Tie Fighter, this is just a temporary reprieve for you Rebel scum.
Battlefront is just the latest franchise to get whomped by meddling Rebels in shoddy X-wings, as the LOOTGATE Disney Death Star goes critical and explodes.
EA announced that they were TEMPORARILY turning off microtransactions in Star Wars Battlefront II in response to the great loot crate scandal, but don’t get cocky, kid.
Oh you know they’ll make you make pay for those Crystals again, as soon as the scandal blows over. They already muttered as much beneath their breath, as they were storming out of the Senate.
Do or do not, there is no try EA.
Gaming is a BIG business now, and every franchise wants to monetise its online play to turn YOU into a good little cash cow.
EA got greedy, as did Bungie with the Destiny franchise, and they went in for the kill on day zero. They’re backing off right now to protect the Golden Gooses, but rest assured as soon as there are enough of you fully invested in the game, bingo bango here come dat XP throttling and pay-for-play again.
A more wretched hive of scum and villainy has never existed, and the Empire WILL eventually build its Star Wars casino and Code 66 those children.
It is inevitable that in any franchise that gets popular enough there will be a segment of the market willing to pay for boosts, and they eventually will be catered for, thus ruining the game for everybody.
For now though, EA has played itself, and there must be some interesting phone calls going on between Redwood City and Disneyland. The Mouse hates to have his brand tarnished, but even more he hates burning money, and right now he’s stuck with an old school game that takes your money once and then has to give to you what you paid for.
Once I had power. Now I have nothing.
Star Wars is a legendary franchise, and even if gameplay takes a hit, the company can still rely upon fanboys to do whatever it takes to get that legendary Luke Skywalker skin. And then as soon as they can get away with it, you can buy the increased TIE fighter damage. And so on.
The Loot Box is dead. Long love the customisable gaming experience. Get ready to grab your credit card again kids, as liberty dies to thunderous applause.
But dude, that SWEET paint job for muh X-Wing is only 5 bucks.
Enjoy your victory Rebel scum. The Empire is already regrouping, and building its next Death Star.
Full disclosure: John Miller’s IRL name is Frank Faulkner. I’m an Aussie and when I’m not obsessing about Conservative politics or defending Trump I also enjoy various sports and Christian activities.