WE: The BASED Kings of Africa

By John Miller

Wednesday the 22nd of November, 2017


As the coup against Grace Mugabe rolls on interminably in Zim and the murder rate in South Africa continues to amaze those who haven’t been entirely desensitised to shocking statistics, Africa is desperately in need of a good news story.

grace mugabe3

Well, let us then look to ancient history, and try and figure out when they are next likely to get one.

The present-day troubles of Africa, by which I mean the dark-skinned nations that came out of Africa and not just the less adventurous nations that stayed behind, can be said to have begun approximately four thousand years ago, when Abraham was born, who as we all know was the father of the Israelites and Arabs and the Chaldeans.

At that time the Middle East was not a Semitic region at all, but rather a Hamitic one, and indeed African influence was already widely spread across Indian Ocean by African sailors of the Sumerian race. These fellows called themselves the San-Jigga, which is pronounced unfortunately similarly to a common racial slur for the Sand Peoples who dwell upon the fringes of the civilised zones.

San or Saj refers to the head, and Jigga or Nigga to darkness, which makes the concatenation sort of similar to Aithiopes, which began as a Greek racial slur meaning ‘burnt faces’, before being unironically adopted by the Ethiopians as the name of their nation.

In the Bronze Age, the Sumerians meant it only as the highest praise for themselves.


And why not? They had come out of Africa and conquered the whole of the Middle East, built the first temples and cities, improved agriculture and animal husbandry to the point where 50,000 citizens could live in peace and prosperity in a single town, invented writing, written the first poems and sagas, and basically invented religion.

Furthermore, they had tamed the high seas, establishing city-states and colonies in Arabia Felix, the Gulf islands, and India. They had trading entrepots amongst all their neighbours that were reachable by ship or donkey-cart, and if you didn’t like their intervention they would just come over from whichever city-state presently held the kingship in Sumer, and kick your ass for disrupting global trade.

Such was the fate of Aratta, which people who haven’t spent the last few decades obsessing about Sumerian literature as a marker of early Biblical historicity seem to think was in Iran, but I prefer to place in the Hurrian region of Northern Syria and Iraq, the first region of temple and city building by the rival Japhetic tribes.


Aratta lacked writing, except for the rudimentary written materials of the post-Ubaidi city states such as the one lost in the ruins of Tell Brak, which seems as likely a city for Enmerkar the Sumerian to vent against as any.

Aratta was beaten down, and eventually it was annihilated by its Sumerian rival Uruk, in a series of wars that raged from between 3800 BC and 3500 BC, give or take century.

Biblical Nimrod came out of Nubia, and was credited with building Babel (Babylon), and Erech (Uruk), and Akkad the lost city of the Akkadians (near Sippur), and Calneh (perhaps Nippur) in the land of Shinar (Sumer).

Nimrod is the Sumerian King Enmerkar, who established Unug and destroyed Aratta, and who was taken away with the waters just as the first Amorite primitives were appearing on the borders of Kiengi.

Uruk is the Akkadian name for Sumerian Unug, and I prefer to give the first literate civilisation of the ancient world its proper name, rather than the one it was given after the debasement of African civilisation in the Middle East by the Old Babylonians and other speakers of Akkadian, all upstart savages.


Even as the Sumerians approached civilisational collapse they seemed to only be growing greater and in 2100 BC when Shulgi was king, he appeared Nimrod-like.

At the time there were five main languages in the world, as we can glean from one of the many epics of self-praise that Shulgi wrote for himself in Ur, actually Urim, not long before one of his heirs allowed his empire to be destroyed by an alliance of Elamites, Amorites, and Gutians.

The last King of Urim was a moon worshipping nobody, but Shulgi was very much a model Sumerian Lugal.

This appellation Lugal, gotten from Lu (man) and Gal (great), means the Greatman (King), who ranked above the En (Lord), the Ensi (City Governor), or the Sukkal (Provincial Governor) of some subordinate region like Elam.


Shulgi was a Kang in the cast of Nimrod, he was a mighty hunter. He campaigned far and wide, and when he was not running around with his army vanquishing everybody who called him out, he was composing epics of self-praise, in one of which he wrote:

“When I rage like a torrent with the roar of a great storm, in the capture of a citadel in Elam, I can understand what their spokesman answers. By origin I am a son of Kiengi; I am a warrior, a warrior of Kiengi. Thirdly, I can conduct a conversation with a man from Kur Gig-gig. Fourthly, I can do service as a translator with a Martu [Amorite] from the mountains. I myself can correct his confused words in his own language. Fifthly, when a man of Subir yells something, I can even distinguish the words in his language, although I am not a fellow-citizen of his. When I provide justice in the legal cases of Kiengi, I give answers in all five languages. In my palace no one in conversation switches to another language as quickly as I do.”

Elam is the Semitic region of southern Iran which was adjacent Sumer, and Sumer is an Anglicisation of the Akkadian word for Kiengi, which means Land of Reed Lord. Ki means Land, En means Lord, and Gi means Reed.

Although I have accepted I am simply not up to the task of completely ordering the entire panoply of Sumerian literature into a single saga that might help me to better understand the early Biblical narrative, I have invested an insane amount of time researching this ancient civilisation.

Such work as I have accomplished I have dumped onto the domain lordfalcon.org, which may confuse you as the home page is a passage from John stating that God the Father and Christ pre-existed all pagan gods, which is then followed by the beginning of the Enuma Elish, before I actually get to the Sumerian material.

Titian Cain and Abel

The Sumerians just wrote too much, and I’m not as smart as they were. To this day I will sometimes look at what is there, and begin to mess about with the ordering, and end up even further away from task completion. Moving along from my former obsession, which I frankly encourage a smarter man with more free time than me to complete, let us return to Shulgi and Kiengi.

Shulgi means Young Warrior (Shul) of the Reeds (Gi), and all this reed talk ought to be triggering anybody with even a basic knowledge of Egyptian history and mythology. The We Wuzzers might recall that Lower Egypt where the Pyramids were built was properly called the Land of Reeds, and the Bible tells us that all the Hamitic nations are joined: from Nubia (Kush; Sudan and Ethiopia) to Egypt (Misraim), to Canaan and the Amorites, and finally to Sumer (Kiengi; Shinar).

In 2100 BC there were two Hamitic languages that Shulgi spoke in Urim: Amorite and Sumerian.

The Amorites came from the West, and were a later and less civilised set of arrivals from Africa than the Sumerians. They muscled the Akkadians (and later the Sumerians) out of much of their territory.


There were two Semitic languages: Elamite and Akkadian.

After the  Sumerians established their kingdom in lower Mesopotamia the Akkadians became their northern neighbours. Sumer and Akkad were most often joined under Sumerian rule, and comprised the area between the Euphrates and the Tigris as far north as civilisation reached.

The middle Euphrates was generally controlled by tribal Amorites and largely undeveloped, with a few notable exceptions such as the city-state of Mari. The upper Tigris was vigorously contested by the Akkadians and various hordes of freedom loving Aryans who oppressed them by robbing their merchants, stealing their crops, and raiding their settlements.

Akkad is ordinarily called Uri in Sumerian, but Shulgi was keen to differentiate Uri the region from his own city Urim, which the wags in nearby Unug may have claimed was founded by Akkadians because of the similarity in their Sumerian names. Thus Shulgi calls Akkadian the Kur Gig-Gig, which might be roughly translated as Mountain Vomit.

The Diyala Valley in the lower Zagros Mountains of Iran which feeds the Tigris from the East was both an early bastion of Akkadian culture and a passageway for the Aryan hordes into Mesopotamia that would occasionally disgorge a terrifying invasion of Gutians (and later Kassites), so Shulgi knew what he was talking about.

The great Sumerian ruler Gilgamesh of Unug, who ruled after Enmerkar and Lugalbanda, and whose sidekick was the boorish Amorite Enkidu, was later depicted as an archetypal Akkadian by the cultural appropriators of Old Babylon. They translated the Gilgamesh epic into Akkadian, but both the Sumerian and Akkadian versions still exist, so I invite you to read them for yourself if you don’t believe me.


There was one Japhetic tongue that Shulgi spoke: Subir, the language of the Gutians.

Below the Akkadian region east of the Tigris was the Elamite civilisation, and the triple region of Sumer, Akkad and Elam together formed Kalam, the Excellent Country.

The Gutians and the Amorites were the barbarians at the gates. The Amorites that Shulgi knew were neighbouring Hamitic tribal clients, who wouldn’t dare to move against him. They were often ridiculed in Sumerian tales, but as they couldn’t read this was not considered impolite.

Shulgi was more openly disdainful of the Gutians, calling them men of Subir, by which he means a Sparrow-body or locust-body. These crazy white boys were imagined much like a plague of small birds or locusts which came ravening out of the hills and attacked the cultivated farmlands of the Sumerian city-states. They were quite good at warfare though.


The Gutians had smashed the over-rated Akkadian empire into the dust so thoroughly that not even an archaeologist with a magnifying glass can find any trace of their once vaunted and impregnable capital city.

It was this random destruction of the Akkadians, who had for a century or two usurped power from the Sumerian dynasty of Kish, that caused the Sumerians to look towards the Lower Sea for their next expansion. The sailors of Lagash were able to create one of the most remarkable Sumerian city-states of all under Gudea, even while they were subject to the Sparrow-men Kangs who were encamped with their great host nearby around Adaab.

Lagash sailed first down the Arabian coast, and settled Dilmun in the Gulf, and from here one might either traditionally continue down the Arabian coast to the copper mines, and gain the metal which fuelled Bronze Age warfare, or go across to Elam.


The Sumerians of Lagash wondered what was beyond Elam, and eventually arriving at the Indus Valley, went up and made cities amongst the tribal Indians in the New World Colonies of Meluhha. In this they beat Christopher Columbus, who never got past America.

After a generation under the barbaric Gutians, the Sumerians united under Unug and chased them back into the mountains, and this last dynasty of Unug was replaced by the dynasty of Shulgi and his father at Urim.

Moses and the Hebrews were still in the loins of Abraham in 2000 BC when the Urim dynasty was overwhelmed by a coordinated attack by both the Elamites and Gutians. The shameless Amorite vassals and mercenary forces switched sides, which facilitated the decimation of Sumer and Akkad, and then a takeover by the Amorites of the remains of Sumerian civilisation. Abraham left Urim for Canaan around the time that it was passing from Sumerian to Amorite hands.

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The Sea Land region of the Great Reeds came under the leadership of the city-state of Isin, and their Sumerian character was not immediately extinguished by the much weaker Amorite culture.

The sea going vessels of the Sumerians at Dilmun in the Gulf still retained Meluhha on the Indus, but as the mother country went into sharp decline, so did the colonies. The ascendancy of Amorite Old Babylon in Akkad was at first repelled by the Sea Land Confederation of city-states near mouth of the Euphrates upon the Gulf, but they were savagely put down by Hammurabi of Babylon and his heirs.

After the Amorite dynasty of Babylon came to power, they disdained to use their own Hamitic language, Amorite, or the Hamitic language of the Sumerians. They adopted Akkadian as the imperial language, perhaps to sap the legitimacy of the claim of Isin in the Sea Land to the kingship. They made their covenant with the Babylonian city god Marduk, and LARPed as the heirs to Sargon.


Hammurabi was good at war and the game of thrones, but his heirs were not quite so talented. The Sea Land revolted again and gained a fragile independence with an invasion by the Kassites, Japhetic horse riders who were the successors to Gutians.

The Kassites ruled Babylonia for the next 1000 years, which owing to their complete disinterest in gay things such as writing is invariably called a Dark Age. The Sea Land was easily beaten by the Kassites after the dynasty of Hammurabi the Amorite fell, and the Sumerians joined the Akkadians upon the scrap-heap of history.

What the White Man gave by patronising Lagash, he took away by an Indo-Aryan invasion that obliterated the Indus Valley civilisation of the Sumerians in Meluhha. Today Pajeet seems to prefer his ancestors who came down drunk on soma in wagons from Borat-land and slummed amongst the ruins of his African ancestors.

Labelling the conquered group untouchable does not change the fact that the Indo-Aryan ancestors never exceeded the cultural or technological accomplishments of the African ancestors of India.

Indian religion began with an inversion of Sumerian paganism by a bunch of hillbillys who took advantage of the societal collapse of the Sumerians. The Classical era religion of Hinduism which emerged from the obligatory thousand-year Dark Age of an Aryan invasion owes almost everything to the sophisticated Sumerian myths of the Bronze Age, and almost nothing to the caveman-tier ooga-booga shamanism of the fire worshippers who piled onto the black man while he was down.


India was just a sideshow for the collapse of Pan-African global hegemony. The greatest loss was Sumer and Akkad.

Whatever Covenant that Nimrod and his people had with God, it was vacated by the Moon worshippers of Urim, to their eternal detriment, and to the benefit of Abram, a man whose jib was cut in just such a way that rendered it likeable by God.


The New Covenant that our Lord and saviour Jesus Christ has established for all nations was not at that time available.

It ought not to have been all over for the Hamitic nations, except that Rim-Sin  the Amorite chose to make his Covenant with the Moon-god, and Hammurabi the Amorite of Babylon chose to elevate the city cult of the idol of Marduk into an imperial religion. This is the same Hammurabi who appears in the Genesis legend of Abraham as the Amraphel the vassal of Chedorlaomer the Elamite. He ought to have made his Covenant with the Lord instead of with Marduk, after seeing what Abraham did with a few hundred men near Damascus to his boss. And where is almighty Marduk now? Like all idols, he has re-joined the gross substances that he was formed from.

The Amorites of Old Babylon were then annihilated by two Japhetic tribes: the Hittites, who marched down the Euphrates from Anatolia, and the Kassites that came across the Tigris. The Hittites sacked Babylon and plundered the Marduk idol, an interesting development for the cult which wrote the Enuma Elish for the Hammurabi dynasty. Marduk, who boasted of defeating every other god and stripping them of their titles and powers forever, was dragged back to Babylon behind Kassite horses after the Hittites tried to take it back to Anatolia with them.

P1050591_Louvre_Kudurru_de_Meli-Shipak_rwk (1)

The Semitic Chaldeans who followed the Kassites after the routine 1000-year Dark Age that accompanied Aryan invasions in the olden days loved to LARP about muh Akkadian ancestor Hammurabi, without even realising that they were stealing the history and the literature of the African Kangs of Old Babylon. Sad.

The legend and accomplishments of Sargon of Akkad, the early Semitic imperialist, and those of Naram-Sin his son, were vastly over-rated and over-hyped by first the Old Babylonians and then the Chaldeans of Babylon, if we are to compare them to Jemdet Nasr era Eresh, or the Kings of Kish, both of which Sumerian cities were far more important and more successful than their neighbour Agade.

The Assyrian civilisation joined the Chaldeans of Babylon in a thirst for Semetic ancestry, but still conceded in their own king-list that the first rulers of their nation were Amorites who lived in tents. Despite Assyrian pretensions to be a Semitic ethno-state, they were very much a case of successful civic nationalism built upon Hamitic foundations, as the Bible says, while simultaneously saying that the eponymous tribal founder Assur himself was a descendent of Shem.

Both the Kassites and the Chaldeans of Babylon mockingly referred to Assyria as Subir, and the local Sparrow-men controlled the region between the upper Euprates and upper Tigris more often and with greater frequency than any other group.

It was well known that everything that the Akkadians had built and colonised upon the upper Tigris was sacked and laid waste by the Gutians, the city mounds used to pasture donkeys, and the ruins were inhabited by owls.


The borders of the African sphere of world influence contracted back to Canaan, but both Arabia and the Upper and Lower Seas remained open to them.

Canaanite sailors ventured out past the Japhetic Minoan realms of Cyprus and Crete in the Upper Sea, the Mediterranean, and established an African presence in lesser Thebes, in Boeotia upon the borders of Attica and Athens, not long after 2000 BC.

These sons of Cadmus instructed the Japhetic Mycenaean Greeks in letters and technology, to their short-term gain in impeding Minoan egress, but to their great eventual detriment. This small colony of Black Greeks of the line of Cadmus did not survive the heroic era, but their descendants retained some control over the superstitious natives by way of the Apollonian oracles, and the mysteries of Eleusis and Samothrace.


So much for the Middle East and Europe, but what of Africa proper.

Egypt was at its height during the Golden Age of the Old Kingdom, when the Egyptians were Pyramid Builders, but not such grand imperialists.  Their era runs parallel with the end of dynastic Unug in Kiengi, the Kish dynasty, the Akkadian Empire, the Gutian invasion, and the Urim dynasty of Shulgi.

By 2000 BC both Sun worshipping Egyptian and Moon worshipping Sumerian were overrun by their savage neighbours. The Elamites and Subir folk made a great slaughter of the Sumerians, who never recovered, and the less civilised Amorites took over. The Amorites were keen to be as civilised as their kin, and after a quick shave and change of clothes they resumed Hamitic civilisation in Canaan and Babylonia as best they could.

In Africa proper, the era of Memphis and Lower Egypt was ended, and there was a brief period of chaos where the Nile was divided amongst several warlords. Then Hamitic majesty was restored by the greater Thebes, and in particular by the mighty Theban Archer.

Bows & Arrows Ancient in Ancient Egypt - 03

The Middle Kingdom of Thebes was from its earliest days consumed with brother wars against the Canaanites and Amorites, the African cultures of the Levant, and his main rival was the Amorite archer.

The Theban archers won out in Canaan, and this made Egypt the undisputed master of all the cities up to the borders of the Japhetic tribal areas, the Hittites of Anatolia, and the Hurrian betwixt upper Euphrates and Tigris. Neither was considered a rival to the Middle Kingdom of Thebes, which was not particularly interested in taking anything from Whitey.

The Theban Middle Kingdom of Egypt lasted down to 1650 BC or thereabouts, which was around the same time as the Minoans and other Japhetic nations of the Mediterranean began to sperg out and sack all the coastal cities, which had until then enjoyed a fairly good run.


The Semitic and Japhetic tribal groups who eked out a living near the Amorites and Canaanites grew intermixed and confederated, and eventually one such grand coalition became powerful enough to not only bully the Amorites and Canaanites, but even managed to take possession of Lower Egypt, and rule it for a century from Avaris.

Theban forces withdrew back up into the Land of Barley, Upper Egypt where Thebes itself was. They held out not only the Shepherd Kangs of Lower Egypt, but simultaneously the Nubians, whose Kangdom of Kush had made an alliance with the Avaris regime against the African brothers of Thebes.


Theban hegemony was eventually resumed with the conquest of Avaris and the complete re-conquest of Lower Egypt. The New Kingdom of Thebes then took Egyptian imperialism to new heights, with the complete annexation of Kush, and the reconquest of all Canaan. This was all of African civilisation in one contiguous empire, and this time the Egyptians were in a mood to carry on to the Euphrates.

This advance was met and repelled by the Hurrians, who had recently established their own empire.  Babylonia remained with the Japhetic barbarians too. The Semitic tribal alliances that were forming in Assyria, roughly speaking the eastern half of the Hurrian Empire, and down south in the Chaldean tribal regions of Babylonia against the Kassites, were both still in an embryonic phase.

The New Kingdom of Thebes fell into chaos when one meddlesome pharaoh turned away from the Amon worship of Thebes towards the Sun-deity Aten. Others who came after conflated Amon with the Sun-god Ra. These Atenists and disciples of Ra wrecked Egypt with civil and religious wars, and while the Theban Archers were distracted by the collapse of the New Kingdom the Amorites made havoc in Canaan.


It should be noted that at this time Joseph came to the aid of African civilisation when it was wracked with famine, and was made Vizier of Lower Egypt at Heliopolis by way of Pharaoh’s gratitude.

However the blessings of God were repaid with bondage for the Hebrews, who were not let go until the time of the Ramessid dynasty, whose treasure houses the slave Hebrews built. God himself drowned Ramesses the magnificent in the Red Sea.

Following an Exodus of forty years amongst their Edomite and Arab brethren in the Sand Peoples wastelands, Moses got the Hebrews to the Promised Land.

The Amorites were consigned to the scrap heap of history for their many sins and culpabilities. They were hated and attacked by all their neighbours, not only the Israelites, but also by the Syrian kin of the Israelites, and by the Ramessid Egyptians.

The Japhetic Philistines who sought a new homeland as Minoan civilisation collapsed at Crete and Cyprus settled upon the Gaza shore, and they took the strong Canaanite cities of the region. There was little that the Ramessids could do nothing about it, despite their boasting to the contrary.


The Israelites carved up South Canaan with the Philistines as the Hittites expanded their reach down from Anatolia into North Canaan. The Hittites Empire at its height took in all the Japhetic cities of the Pelasgian and Danaans upon the coast of Asia Minor which face Europe across the Aegean Sea, and even Cypress.

The Hittite Empire proved ephemeral, and it collapsed under a concentric invasion. After the Assyrians overwhelmed the Hurrians they came marching against Hatti from the east, and as the Hittite army fell into disarray the various Japhethitic tribes which inhabited the mountains of northern Anatolia came down and burnt the cities of the Hittite heartland. The cities of Asia Minor fell to the Danaans and Pelasgians, but were soon wrested away from them  by the Argives, Achaeans and Dorian Greeks, as related by Homer.


The Ramessid dynasty of Egypy lasted until 1069 BC, and was replaced by another Lower Egyptian dynasty, this time centred upon Sais, the city of the Egyptian Athena. The Sais dynasty was more Ionian than African, and the future of the Mediterranean itself was Greek.

The last vestiges of Canaan that resided in the coastal cities of Phoenicia by the Lebanon lay in great peril, but Israel squandered the chance that God had given it to end the child sacrificing Molech cults and Baalisms of the Canaanites forever.

The Hamitic Kingdoms of Arabia Felix enjoyed amity with Solomonic Jerusalem too, as related in the tale of Sheba, and the Song of Songs.


In Egypt, Thebes was resurgent one last time, and just as in the era of the Middle Kingdom and the New Kingdom, a Theban army imposed its will on Canaan. They wrecked Jerusalem and sacked its palace and Temple, after the Ten Tribes of Israel rejected the son of Solomon, and as strife between the Hebrews broke Israel apart. The very instruments of God departed the Holy of Holies, and have never again been seen by man.

The final dynasties of Egypt at Thebes and Sais were weak and vacillating. The rising powers were Assyria and Syria, with Judah at first vexed by the latter and saved by the former, and then mightily vexed by the Assyrians.

As the Assyrians closed in, a vast navy of Canaanite colonists set out from Tyre towards the farthest coast of north Africa to establish Cartage. It would eventually grow into a city of 300,000 that vied with Rome for the Mediterranean, before it was completely annihilated.

Egypt itself fell to the Assyrians in 672 BC, who first made light work of the Phoenicians and Israel.


The Assyrians were finally defeated by the Chaldean Babylonians, but an Assyrian army still rallied at Carchemish on the Euphrates. The Theban vassals of Assyrian Egypt came loyally when called, to help the Assyrian Kang. The Egyptians fought their way through the army of Judah and killed good King Josiah en route, but at Carchemish in 605 BC the Assyrian Empire was ended. The Chaldeans of Babylon took over its possessions.

The Thebans fended the Chaldeans off in 601 BC. The Babylonians conquered the Arabs instead, in 599, and then invaded Judah in 597, and again in 587 BC, when they sacked Jerusalem and the Temple of Solomon. They invaded Egypt successfully in 568 BC.

The allies of Babylonians against the Assyrians and their vassals had been the Japhetic hordes: the Persians, Medes and Scythians. The Scythian horsey men took a tour of random obliteration across the region and then departed Babylonia and rode back to their northern prairies. The Medes and Persians went back to Iran, and fought it out to determine who would be the true heirs of the Gutians and Kassites.


The Persians won, and after taking Elam they then turned upon the Chaldeans, who they smashed in 539 BC. The Persians were unlike the Aryans of old, and were keen to adopt civilising ways. Elam and Babylon were left unmolested, and the Persians moved on to confront the final boss: Egypt. The Thebans were well past their prime, and proved small contest for the rampaging Persians.

Egypt was conquered from the Persians by their Japhetic kin the Greeks in 332 BC under Alexander, and despite a long period of Roman rule Egypt was fully Hellenised across a course of a thousand years, until it was taken by the Arabs, who have held it and the Arabian Peninsula for last 1400 years.

The glories of Egypt long gone, North Africa and Libya after a thousand years of Rome were simply passed from Latin or Greeks to the new Arab and later Turkish masters.

The last great bastion of African royal might was the Kingdom of Aksum, a Christian Kingdom which existed outside of the authority of Rome from the time of its inception in 100 AD. For the Romans, and later the Byzantines, it was usually seen as a useful ally and vital trading partner. Aksum controlled which goods came by way of Nubia and the Red Sea.


The Aksumites re-took the Yemen for Christianity in 525 AD from an Arab dynasty that had converted to Judaism, but this caused the Sasanian Empire to come and overthrow the Axumite client kingdom in the Yemen around 570.

This was also around the time that Muhammad was born, called the Year of the Elephant by Arabs, because Abraha the Abyssinian and last Christian ruler of Yemen took Mecca with his army, and then marched his elephants through the city.

It is rumoured that the elephants refused to approach the Kabah Temple where each of the Arab deities had their demonic moon-rocks, and which now houses the one rock which all Mohammedans must walk around in reverence and then try and kiss once in their lifetime.


After the loss of the Yemen to Sassanian Persians, the Christians of the Aksumite Kingdom in Africa remained neutral as the Arabs conquered the Persians and turned them into good little Arab cosplayers, and even when they began to dismantle the Byzantine Empire, a fellow Orthodox Christian kingdom.

The first attack upon Africa by the ravening Islamic hordes came in 640 AD, when the Caliph sent an Arab fleet of invasion across the Red Sea to Aksum. This invasion was crushed by the Aksumite army and navy. Byzantine Egypt fell to Arabs in 642 AD, but it had been Hellenised for centuries, and there was little about Egypt left that was recognisably African, except for the Pyramids and ancient monuments.

The Arabs were thwarted again by land by the Aksumite army, which guarded the Nile approaches unflinchingly, and in 702 the Aksumite navy and marines went on the offensive, and took the port city of Jeddah.


The Caliph invested the city, but was unable to take it back, so he then settled the Dahlak Peninsula of Somalia with a colony hive of Arab scum and villainy. They taught the local Somalis how to be pirates and also how to do yoga while facing Mecca five times a day. Thanks Islam. We pirates now.

Aksum lasted until 960 AD, and it was finally undone not by the Arabs but by a stupid local  woman. This particular Queen converted to a form Judaism that particularly hated Christians, and she burned all of the Churches and literature of Aksum. Not surprisingly, her realm fractured into several kingdoms of little glory or renown.

The most notable was the alleged Solomonic dynasty of Zagwe, which converted back to Orthodox Christianity at some point during the Ethiopian Dark Ages.

By 1529 the entire region known as Abyssinia was conquered by an Arab Jihad sate of Somali pirate vermin named Adal, which had established itself upon the Horn of Africa. In 1543, the Portuguese Empire entered the fray on behalf of the Abyssinians, and ensured that Abyssinia would remain in the hands of Christ.


In 1868 the British arrived, and this caused the King of Zagwe to suicide himself in alarm. He never got the witness the invasion of Abyssinia, or Ethiopia if you prefer, whereby Eritrea was carved off from the rest of the region and became an Italian colony. In 1896 the Italians attempted to annex the rest of Abyssinia, and in true Italian fighting fashion were easily routed by the Africans. The ignominy of a Catholic army attacking and being routed by an Orthodox one only compounded the disgrace for Italy.

In 1935 the Italians returned under a new fascist ruler, and wiped out 150,000 Christians with chemical munitions. The Godless Dwarf King of Italy, Victor Emmanuel III, was proclaimed Emperor of Abyssinia in Rome, but the British assisted the Abyssinians to restore a local King in 1941.


The region was finally wrecked by Communists in 1974, when Marxists introduced Socialism to the region, which begins with the rejection of God, and culminates in mass starvation and genocide.

In less than fifty years, Socialism has already managed to kill more Africans in the region than almost fifteen hundred years of Muslim and Fascist aggression.


Several other bad things happened in Africa, but I will conclude with the ending of the era of its glorious kings in 1974, and observe that when the Church is strong, Africa stronk.

Godless Socialism is the number one enemy of civilisation everywhere, closely followed by jealous neighbours, and bad allies.

Full disclosure: John Miller’s IRL name is Frank Faulkner. I’m an Aussie and when I’m not obsessing about Conservative politics or defending Trump I also enjoy various sports and Christian activities.


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