By John Miller
Monday the 30th of October, 2017
Mark Zuckerberg is a bright young entrepreneur, but Democrats would still rather hand America over to a fossilised Communist or the creepy uncle from the Obama administration, according to the latest Granite State Poll.
Yes, that’s right. 2020 is closer than you think. Live free or die? That sounds like a Micro-aggression!
Comrade Sanders leads the early polls on 31%, with touchy feely old man Joseph hugging 24% of likely Dem voters from behind in just the right way. Pocahontas still hasn’t left the reservation on 13%.
My hot tip is that Bernie will die before the convention of old age, still be nominated, but in true cuck style step aside for Elizabeth Warren anyway. What a great idea for a movie, Hollyweird. Ben Affleck and Matt Damon dragging Bernie around for a weekend. Ruh roh. Here comes Harvey.
The next most popular candidate at this early stage is Undecided, who was last seen marching in a Pussy-hat rally against Trump, and sharing memes on Facebook about feminism that he got from some totally rad Kremlin backed Instagram account.
Cory Booker has enjoyed a bump in his public profile as the Senator from New Jersey who isn’t on trial for corruption, or perhaps 6% of Dems just can’t tell him apart from Vin Diesel. I can’t.
Don’t let the polls get you down Zuck. Your fellow autists want to see you go head-to-head with GEOTUS in the big race. Oh, teh LULZ…
Don’t let our memes be dreams, brother. Pick up your game.